Never cross a Scot...

Last year at a Mississippi State Football game I sat next to a Brit in the upper decks. We were discussing the World Cup and then we got on the subject of David Beckham and why he left Manchester United, a soccer club in Great Britain. My new friend had a simple answer that has stuck with me and always will, “Never cross a Scot”. Evidently Beckham was making a lot of noise about the team management, similar to what Kobe Bryant is doing over here now. Well the owner of the team was Scottish and just said to heck with him, his talent, his money, his good looks, and his Spice Girl wife. Beckham had to run off to Spain to finish out his European career with his tail between his legs because he had forgotten the motto….Never cross a Scot.

Well it seems some other folks forgot about this life lesson and a new internet hero has sprung up. No I am not talking about "Dramatic Prairie Dog”. I am talking about John Smeaton. John is now popping up everywhere on the internet as the UK version of Chuck Norris and, you guessed it, he’s Scottish. It seems our enemies in Al-Qaeda never heard the saying “never cross a Scot.” You see, John works as a baggage handler at the Glasgow Airport. When these crazy terrorist drove there gasoline drenched Land Rover into the airport they had no idea that they were moving into John’s territory. Well what was John’s response? A Scottish ass whoopin worthy of praise even from the great William Wallace. Get this; the police had to restrain John and a few others from beating these guys senseless. My only explanation for the Scottish police not allowing John to finish what he started is they probably figured it more useful if they could question the men. Do you remember how reporters talked about a guy jumping out of the car in flames…yeah, John beat his tail as well. Didn’t matter if he was on fire, still got a boot to him. John is rapidly becoming a legend in his country and they have even set up a website for people to buy their hero a pint in thanks for his bravery. They will celebrate soon at the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn Lobby Bar, John’s favorite watering hole, where they will line up 1,000 pints and let the man have his day of celebration. John doesn’t consider himself a hero however, he simply says, “Glasgow does not accept this. We will set aboot ye.” Which is basically a cool Scottish way of saying we’ll give you a beat down. So cheers to our new hero, may he enjoy his new found fame and his 1,000 pints. And readers always remember…Never cross a Scot!