Mr. Jackson

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Monday, April 30, 2007

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag Travis!!

Happy 25th Birthday to my wonderful, amazing, incredible husband! I LOVE you, and I am a better person because of you!
Yeah!!!! Today is Travis' 25th birthday as written above(in German). We started celebrating on Saturday. His parents took us to the Gherst House. It's a really neat German restaurant.
We had a great time and the food was delicious! They make a mean basket of fried pickles! I'm not sure that is a traditional German appetizer, but they do have an extensive menu because let's face it....not everyone licks his/her lips at a plate like this

It was slightly disgusting to watch Travis consume so many meat products, but it was his birthday dinner....he is on a strict vegetable diet this week. I'm trying to clean out his arteries! We really did have a great time! If you're ever in Nashville on a Saturday night and you're not really feeling the "boot scoot'n boogie," the Gherst House promises a good time! We really enjoyed the funny old people in the band. I think the lady held out a note for like 2 minutes your heart out Celine...then she chugged a stein. It was impressive. Just imagine the smell of fried sausages with polka music billowing through the air. We learned that Wolfe is in fact a German name and that Travis looks very German. I believe these people too....I mean, wouldn't you believe that face

Travis racked up on the loot. One present I gave him was a basketball so that he could play at our church. He is very excited that he can now play on Thursday nights. There is a sign posted on the gym door that says, "Thursday Night Basketball. Must be 25 to enter. Have ID ready!" The old men really take it seriously. But, after the hammock fiasco of '06, I have learned my lesson about deviating from the birthday present list. If anyone is interested in a really nice hammock with it's own metal stand (save your trees) then just let me know. I also made sure to get the DQ Ice Cream cake this year. Last year I failed to complete this birthday ritual. I just didn't think the 2 of us needed an entire ice cream cake that serves 8-10. Mistake was not repeated! Travis was happy...bellies were full!

Here's a little added bonus... this was Travis' disguise for the scavenger hunt with the Jr. High youth group. I think he changed his name to Chris Gaines. I dressed up as a Cracker Barrel employee. We hid in the gardens of the Opryland Hotel. People kept asking me for directions. Fun was had by all.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Rock the Stadium of Her Heart

Hello All, I am sitting here with the lovely Mrs. being semi-forced to watch a show called October Road. This is a usual occurrence in the Wolfe household. She gets Gilmore Girls and October Road and I get The Daily Show and any show involving Flava Flav. So anyway, if anyone has ever seen this show apparently it has become a reoccurring theme for the fellas of the show to gather together and play air guitar and drums on various tennis rackets and golf clubs. This has popped up in the last 3 episodes. Well since I am usually only halfway interested in the episodes I decided to see if this was such a common thing. According to an article the writers of the show said...

"We did that. We did that for years and years and years, even after high school. We did it a little different than these guys since we're on ABC TV, so you don't see the bottle of Jack Daniels and the bong. But we had tennis rackets and mic stands that we stole, and we'd go to people's basements and rock out and have fun," Scott (Rosenberg...writer for October Road) admitted.

Well I am not sure if I speak for any other guys who might read this blog, but I have never hung out with a bunch of guys and thought, "You know what would be great...if we grabbed a few clubs and rackets and we just rocked out!"

Course I could see something like that being the opening entertainment at a Butts family talent show...

Another question that arises is what's worse? Guys playing rackets and "rocking out"


A guy watching this occur and then looking up articles on the subject.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I'm Never Ready!

Well, I received a scathing email from my father yesterday wanting to know, and I quote, “Where is it? I was looking forward to an informative and humorous blog to go with my coffee and sweet roll this morning. But there is nothing there but old news and how many times can you read that stuff? I know it is Monday, and you are probably brain dead but surely you can come up with something exciting that happened to you this weekend. So suck it up and get with the program.” Wow, Little Daddy (that’s what we call him), calm down. That is probably the most strongly worded thing he has ever said to me. He is usually quite calm with the exception of his theological rants, so father…your wish is my command.

Saturday was quite a long day for me. I had stayed up until 1:30 am on Friday night, and then sat through an entire day of grad school class…8am-4pm. That night I was pretty pooped, and that is when Travis pounced!! We walked into the house from a brief trip to the mall, and immediately the assault began. “turn it off…turn it off!!!” he’s yelling and pushing me….but before you call social services to report a domestic dispute, let me explain. We have an alarm system so that I will feel safer when Travis is out of town. Well, our system has 2 codes, the regular code, and a PANIC CODE! The panic code was installed in the event that I was forced into the house by an intruder, I could punch in this alternate code and the security company would know that something was wrong and to come quickly. Well, I knew I would never be able to remember it if I didn’t practice, so I suggested that Travis pretend to be an attacker every once in a while to keep me on my toes and give me some practice pretending to punch in the panic code. I am still convinced that this was a good idea. What good is a panic code if I forget to push it if, heaven forbid, I ever need to. I remember Oprah doing a show on self-defense classes, so that inspired this idea. I think Oprah would be proud. I should write to her and tell her about our training…she might ask me to be on the show! I’m going to get right on that. Well, the first time he pretended to attack, I almost had a heart attack, and I gave him a thorough beating afterwards! So, Saturday, after my long, long day, Travis decides that this is a perfect opportunity to test my crisis skills. I think he kind of enjoys it, and he is very convincing….after all, he was voted best actor two years in a row for his performances in the USJ musicals. I know... I’m a lucky girl to have married the Music Man! I suggested these drills, so it’s my fault that I get scared out of my mind about once a month…but I have decided that Travis is in danger if he doesn’t practice the panic code too. So, Travis…this is my warning to you…you must beware…because when you least expect it, your training will begin! Oh, and congratulations Kurt and Marty Cooper on the purchase of your first house! Marty informed me that they have an alarm, so upon Marty’s request, I’m sending Travis down to Tupelo to train Kurt in the art of Panic Code preparation.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Get Yourself a Bad Boy

There is no way this is for real....

Backstreet Boys Fan


One more thing. Thanks for the contribution, Travis. Glad to see you are embracing my new hobby.

Feeding at the Trough

I almost went in to the Men's bathroom again today!! What is my deal? And I must say that fear coursed through my body in a way one only experiences in a near death experience! Geez.... Laurette, it's not that big a deal, but it certainly would have been traumatic. I remember accidentally following my dad into the men's room when I was knee high to a grasshopper. Traumatic then...traumatic now! That reminded me of an incident that happened a couple of weeks ago at the "Trough" as I like to call it. I was at Ryan's Steak House...this place really disgusts me. I think it's the miles and miles of cafeteria food. It's just way too much food! Who needs that much? Not all buffets summon an urge to projectile vomit, but Ryan's seems to have that effect on me. I was there against my will. I'm sure you are asking yourself why on earth was I there if I hate it so much. It was a church thing, so I had to go. I really think the last time I was at Ryan's was sometime during my sixteenth year. I had to go with my parents' friends and their Russian exchange student. Welcome to America...leg or thigh?

Not only am I disgusted by the preparation (fried, smothered in butter and gravy, and refried). but I am disgusted by the amount. I think I already said that. We Americans are truly a people of indulgence. So, as I was leaving Ryan's, I felt the need to wash the glistening grease off my hands.... no need to take a souvenir of the event. I walked into what I thought was the women's bathroom. As I was standing at the sink scrubbing away, a rather scrawny fellow walked in….must not be a regular. We were both shocked. "Oh, whoa, I'm sorry," the scrawny fellow said exiting the bathroom. Then he walked back in and said, "baby, you in the wrong bathroom." Cue mortification…is that a word? Have I lost my ability to read? I vividly remember looking at the door before I walked in. I thought I saw a silhouette of a dress?
I'm sure the grease from my feeding at the trough must have impaired my vision. I apologize to all the Ryan's fanatics that read this blog. Please continue to eat and be merry. You have my blessing; just don't ask me to join you.

Workin' for the Weekend

I was very hesitant to write on here from the hard stance that Caleb took on Tricia's blog, but since he has "un-shuned" the blog world, I figured I could write one as well. I will spare each of you from a majority of my ramblings and leave this mostly to Laurette, but every now and then I will join the fun.

As most of you know music is a large part of my life, I have tried to make a career out of it and who knows where it will take me, but this week I have come across a developing trend that I would like to share, just because I think it is funny. When you book an artist for a show along with the contract for the event comes a Rider. The rider is full of many different rock-star'esk request, and you can usually tell how far an artist has there head up their booty from these riders. They all have them and it is just part of the game. For instance, Mariah Carey asks for fresh flowers and stuffed teddy bears in her dressing room. Even my man Jimmy Buffett asked to be the first person served in line when catering for his 80 person crew. I don’t want to look like a traitor in the business, so rather then tell you a ton of awful request, you can check out some of your favorite artists on your own time here...Artist Riders.

Anyway, right now I work in corporate entertainment booking talent for white collar companies that want to give their employees a little break from the cubicles and corner offices and let them loosen their ties and drink at open bars in lavish hotels in cities like Vegas, Orlando, and others. The trend I have found is now a lot of artists are asking for additional perks other then rider request. And why not, they are being paid stupid money to play for middle/upper class 30-40 something’s. I think it is great, for instance Huey Lewis has so many request from corporate execs wanting to play a few rounds of golf that he is now charging 20,000 a game. Way to go Huey now that is capitalism, and also "The Heart of Rock and Roll"! Anyway as I sit here my next task after this is to contact a golf course in Orlando and find out prices on a round of Golf for 6 for a Smokey Robinson show. Smokey may be even smarter then Huey. Instead of having to listen to 4 execs talk about how much they loved rocking out to your hit tunes in the 80's, good ole Smokey has it included in his contract that you will provide a round of golf. No execs bugging you, and free golf all day.

On another note, Summer festival season is rolling around and i am getting very excited about the idea of dragging Laurette all across the south to several random Music festivals. Probably the one i am most excited for is the North Mississippi Hill Country Picnic in Potts Camp, MS. This will be a big family reunion of blues musicians where BBQ goat will be served in the hundreds and the characters will be just as plentiful. Here is one of those characters....Jimbo Mathis

Jimbo is an amazing blues musician and producer from Clarksdale, MS. In fact he produced Elvis Costello's latest Grammy nominated album and somewhere along the way started the swing/punk band The Squirrel Nut Zippers (random). He is just one of the many characters we will run across. I cannot wait to introduce Laurette into this world. If anyone would like to join us it will be the last weekend in June, right outside of Holly Springs, MS. I'll bring the moonshine!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

GERMS!...A Silent Army Marches Against Me.

Well, Boo and Heather, thanks for your continued enthusiasm. Good to know I'm needed. This blog has been therapeutic for me, especially since no one at work ever talks. I think everyone just meditates all day long, so this is a good way for me to feel like I'm actually communicating with people.

Since I now know that my wonderful and amazing sister, Mary Amanda Clark Marble, now reads my blog, I must warn her....this could get embarrassing for you. I need material, and well, lets face it, sometimes you are a wealth of entertainment.

I entitled this post germs because they have been a major part of my life lately. No, I have not been ill, but they are the theme of my science learning center and guided lesson plan for my teaching science grad school class. I toyed with many options, but I thought to myself, I should really teach something I know. I did win the overall state science fair as a senior, and what was my project on, germs. That glorious day took place at one Starkville Academy, and surprisingly, all SA students were fully two-piece outfits. I guess they only reserve those for special occasions like prom....oh, and football games. Those flyaway skirts were repulsive, and you know it Skaggs and Butts! Anyway, back to my project....don't worry, I didn't win because I am a super science was just really pretty and intricately detailed. I snowed the judges. So, hopefully I can do the same with this project.

So, that leads me to think about my life-long struggle with germs. I vividly remember at 4 years old not wanting to go to school because I thought the boys were dirty. I remember my dad carrying me down the sidewalk to my school while I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I bet my teacher was pumped about that! My teacher must have thought I was one high-strung child. She was right. Thanks mom for ingraining the fear of a microscopic army on the march. My grandmother, Memer, thought they were going to have to take me to counseling. Might have been a good idea for various reasons. So the battle continued and is still being fought today. As I type I think of all the microorganisms having fun in my keyboard. Have you ever swabbed and grown cultures from a keyboard? Well, I haven't either, but I bet it's disgusting. I know bowling balls are. Just a word to the wise...NEVER EAT and BOWL! Just trust me on this one. That was the science fair that I left the cultures in my car for like six weeks. They grew some kind of pink stuff, and I never could get the smell out of my trunk. I hope the new owner of the torpedo hasn't come down with some heinous infection.

Well, I think that's enough about germs today. I'll let you know how my project goes. I'll probably post again later....I have a feeling it's going to be a very slow day.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Mary Peyton, the Harlot...have I taught her nothing?

Well, I was pondering about what to tell the world today. After 8 comments on my last post I feel sort of like the NY Times. I'm not ready for this people. I feel a responsibility to be funny and informative....2 qualities that I don't always possess, especially on Mondays. And what a tragic day it has been. My thoughts are with the students and families affected by the V Tech shootings. So, on a lighter note, I thought I would post about what is going on with Mary Peyton Marble...the future star of food network and my niece.

Wednesday my sister picked her up from her little school she goes to 3 times a week for 3 hours, and the teachers informed her that Mary Peyton had been chasing a little boy, Owen, around and giving him kisses. Where did she get that? I guess from "Days of Our Wives" as MPers calls it. I can't believe my sister lets her watch that. Amanda, I don't know if you know that I have a blog yet, but I am criticizing your parenting. My beloved babysitter, Covin, used to let me watch "The Bold and The Beautiful" and "As The World Turns" when I was little. Obviously these shows had the opposite effect on me. I couldn't even utter the word sex until well into my junior year of college. Thanks Lindsey, Mims and Boo for the intensive shock therapy that I didn't ask for. Alas, Mary Peyton has become the harlot of the family. We Clark women have always been chased, but I thing she might break the mold. She is also enthralled with potty business. She wants to be right there to cheer you through what should be private time in the water closet. I'll save you the details, but let it be know that I am installing a dead bolt when I go in May. I don't need any help, thanks Mary P! I'm sure this is all very funny to moms, but I am just not ready for that. 2-3 year olds are the ultimate birth control devices.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Cleveland 911!

Well, I have decided that I might as well take the plunge, and why not today? I will start with a little story that took place on the eve of April 11, 2007. As most of you who know me know...I HATE to spend the night by myself! I've really never been alone much in my life. My mom wouldn't even let me stay by myself when I was in high school. My friend Elaina would have to come over and stay with me, even during the day! So then I move to MSU, and we all know there was never a moment of alone time there….right Beast and Mims. Then it was straight to married life. So, consequently, staying by myself is not something that I am accustomed to. So back to my point, Wednesday night Travis headed to Cleveland, MS to do a show at Delta State. I remember his calling me around 12pm, but I’m not exactly sure what he said. I know he said something along the lines of, “I’m in Cleveland….Hampton Inn.” Well, Maggie starts barking and won’t go back to sleep. I get scared and can’t sleep either. So, what should I do? Call Travis and tell him that I can’t sleep…that makes sense because he can remedy my problem from 600 miles away I’m sure. Well, no answer….try # 2, no answer…..try #8, no answer. So, I call what I thought was the Hampton Inn. “Hello, thank you for calling the Comfort Inn, Cleveland, this is Odessa, how may I help you?” Wait a minute, I thought I called the Hampton Inn….that was the number on the internet. Well, Odessa informed me that the Hampton Inn had moved a mile down the road 2 weeks ago. Strange to me that they wouldn’t take their number, but that is another blog entirely. Odessa assured me that no Travis Wolfe had checked in and was nice enough to call every hotel in Cleveland for me. No Travis Wolfe to be found. Yep, I was worried. I assured Odessa that my husband was not doing anything wrong. He wouldn’t be hiding from me. I think Odessa was getting the wrong impression of my sweet Travis. Anyway, after several phone conversations with Odessa and Nathan at the Hampton in, I called my mom and dad. I was frantic. So, we did the only thing we could…..Dad called the Cleveland police. To make a long story a little longer, I finally found him….he wasn’t doing anything wrong, so don’t set your Tivos for Divorce Court. He just couldn’t hear his phone. He had gone to Delta State to help set up for the next day. He COULD NOT BELIEVE that I had called the police. That may sound a little insane, but come on…if you are reading this then you probably know me…and you shouldn’t be surprised. The funny thing is, earlier that night Travis couldn’t find me, so he sent our neighbor over to check on me. We have a crazy kind of love I guess. Well, I better get back in my bubble. My mom wouldn’t want me to stay out for too long.