The Greenbrier

For the past 3 days I have been in the backwoods of West Virginia at one of the fanciest hotels I have ever seen. This place was unbelievable, and I have already let Laurette know we will probably never make it here on our own penny (a standard room cost around $580 a night). I was up their working an event. The Greenbrier has been around since the late 1700's and was the summer home for many presidents and dignitaries. For a quick history lesson, during the cold war they built a bunker onsite large enough to house the whole US Senate and House +families in case of a Nuclear fallout. The place is enormous, and covered in more flowered wallpaper then I have ever seen. My room looked just like a room right out of Laurette's grandmother’s house. It has the feel now of a place where rich politicians and COE's take their wives as a make up gift for getting caught sleeping with the secretary. You have to wear a coat and tie to dinner and you must always have a reservation and if you are around the lobby at noon they serve tea and cookies (about the only thing that I found free). Needless to say this West Tennessee redneck was a little out of his element, here are a few of the highlights from the trip...


1. Sitting on the veranda drinking a $17 Mint Julep. I felt like I should have started talking like Foghorn Leghorn...."I do declare!"…This link is for you Caleb.

2. The bed had like a 4 inch pillow top, it was the best bed I have ever slept in, so I decided to strip it down to see who made the bed, I never found out, and probably just managed to really confuse a maid.

3. Beating a 221 average bowler who was a California State Bowling champ. Granted I only bowled a 122 and he was bowling without his thumb in the ball, but I still beat him.

4. Being served a Biscoff on the flight to Atl. from the Greenbrier airport. I guess Delta knows who their clientele on this flight is...

5. Being the lucky member of the flight who received the extra security search in West Virginia. This airport was very small, but I think had the same TSA employment as the Atlanta airport. Finally after 15 minutes I got my carry on bag back. I thought I was stuck in West Virginia for good. Luckily know backwoods, deliverance strip search...Whew!!

6. Meeting a true Richard Cranium at the Greenbrier Airport. First off this guy was wearing white jeans, a blue button-down with cuff links and something like a captain’s jacket. This guy was awful and was very mad that the flight we were taking to Atlanta did not have a first class cabin. Come On!!!

7. Eating a $30 grilled chicken salad for lunch at the pool.


8. Seeing a professional croquet course. I never knew there was a professional league, let alone professional courses.

9. Seeing way to many old rich men with young women.

10. And last but not least. The hotel offered a turndown service, well I did not know this so when I walk back in my room from soundcheck and saw my bed undone and a robe sitting on it, and some stuff moved around...I immediately began checking my things, it wasn’t till I saw mints on the pillow that I realized no one had stolen anything.

So that was my big adventure, I have a Michael McDonald show this week along with working at FanFair, so maybe I will have some more crazy stories. If anyone wants to hear, I do a dead on MM impression. I sometimes act out a show that features Michael McDonald and Aaron Neville, Laurette joins in with Cher. It is a good time and I think we should start recording our performances.